Sigh. It’s Friday, so let’s have some foolishness, alright? And that’s what the Valentino Studded Patent Snow Boots are – pure foolishness. Or at least that’s what I think; you can let us know if you disagree (or heartily agree, as you should) by playing along with Fill in the Blank in the comments.

You know the drill – finish the sentence that’s in the title and enlighten us in the process. Alternately, if you’re so inclined, you can buy these boots through Net-a-Porter for $645.

When I think of Valentino, I don’t think of understatement, but that’s probably because most of my relationship with the brand has been via its bags. Flowers, ruffles, rhinestones, patent, chiffon, silk, bows…you name it, Valentino has festooned a handbag with it. The brand’s shoes are often a little more soft-spoken, however, and designs like the Valentino Cutout Patent Pumps prove that Valentino can still do detailed work with a more refined edge.

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Since fashion people started talking about kitten heels almost a year ago, the subject has been a fairly divisive one. Some people say that if you’re going to go with a heel, go all the way; others dislike what they see as a truncation of a high heel’s elegant shape. On the other end of the spectrum, many flat-enthusiasts see kitten heels as yet another way for the shoe industry to force them into uncomfortable footwear. (And if this is you, I want to know where you’re finding so many comfortable flats, because my luck with them is terrible.)

Everyone involved should take a look at the Valentino Patent Leather Pumps and reconsider their preconceptions about kitten heels. I’ve been a bit ambivalent toward most of Valentino’s designs lately, but this short little pump does everything right in the most ladylike of ways. It might be on the high end of “kitten,” but compared to the heel heights we’ve seen in the shoe world lately, it’s positively demure.

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Posted on Mar 10, 2011 - filed under Valentino

Fashion Week Shoes: Valentino Fall 2011

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Perhaps it’s because I just got done marveling at the extraordinary collection of footwear that Sarah Burton put together for Alexander McQueen’s fall show, but I feel about Valentino Fall 2011‘s shoes much the same way that I felt about Chloe – although these shoes are all fine and good, I’m just not feeling any creative spark when I look at them. Lace boots, python, ankle-straps…the ideas are there, but something about the final product falls flat.

The pumps will likely appeal to women who work in the corporate world, although that I’m even resorting to that line during a runway review should pretty clearly explain the problem with this collection. Practical wear-to-work options should be a part of an in-store line, not what’s featured on the runway in front of a worldwide stage. Cathy Horyn of the New York Times compared the soporific effect of this collection to a dose of fashion Ambien, and unfortunately, it looks like she was right.

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Posted on Jan 31, 2011 - filed under Valentino

Valentino weaves a tangled web indeed

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The Valentino Chiffon Rose Slingback Sandals strike me as a bit of a high-end footwear Rorschach test – when you look at them, what do you see? And does that answer provide us intimate information into your psyche?

When I first laid eyes on them, my brain went immediately to “spider web.” I’m not sure why, since it seems far more likely that they’re intended to evoke thoughts of a mesh veil, but now that I’ve seen it, I can’t unsee it. Surely, though, it would be an exceptionally chic and ladylike spider who would weave a web around a pair of Valentino shoes.

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I touched on this briefly back when we got our first look at Valentino’s Spring 2011 shoes during Paris Fashion Week, but now that the Valentino Chain Strap Studded Pumps have jumped from being a runway concept to a retail reality, it bears repeating: ouch.

“Ouch” is the only word that comes to mind when I look at this design, mostly because of the tiny jewelry chains that make up the shoe’s wrap-around ankle strap. Putting any kind of stiff material around your ankle is a dicy proposition in the first place, but thin strips of metal? I’ve rubbed the backs of my ankles in sympathy pain three times since I started writing this post.

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I’m sure it was purely coincidence that both the Jimmy Choo Nexus Snakeskin and Lace Sandals (left) and the Valentino Studded Lace Pumps (right) both showed up on Net-a-Porter’s new arrivals page on the same day, but their timely advents made it impossible for me to not compare them. I know which one I like better; do you?

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When I try to think of a pair of Valentino shoes in my head, I always come up with the same thing – a nude peep-toe pump, covered in delicate black lace, with a high-but-not-too-high heel and maybe a slight, covered platform. Nothing too strong or bold or eye-catching. Valentino’s shoes tend to be pretty, and also pretty forgettable.

There’s some indication that Valentino intends to address this problem, first with the popular-among-fashion-editors studded kitten heels and now with the Valentino Patent Leather Sandals, which will probably appeal to a wider shoe-loving audience.

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Posted on Oct 7, 2010 - filed under Valentino

Fashion Week Shoes: Valentino Spring 2011

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For some reason, the backs of my ankles are very sensitive. I’m usually pretty thick-skinned and pain-resilient, but the minute a shoe starts rubbing on my heel, all bets are off. That weakness virtually eliminates me as a customer for the shoes from Valentino Spring 2011, but forgive me if I don’t shed any tears over it.

I’m not sure who decided that tiny, thin, sharp-looking chain straps should hold on something like a shoe, whose fit and structural integrity are vitally important, but I assure you that it’s a bad idea. One model already looks like she has an open wound in the strap area, and surely a day spent with tiny chains digging into your ankles would wear down even the toughest shoe lover. The idea of jewelry-like straps sounds delicate and ladylike, sure, but just wait and see how feminine you feel when you’re bleeding all over your new kicks.

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Posted on Sep 22, 2010 - filed under Valentino

Take a walk on the wild side with Valentino

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With animal print being one of fall’s biggest trends, I think we’ve seen just about every way it can be done, and with every material – leather, nylon, suede, haircalf, sparkles, knits, whatever. The one thing that all of those iterations had in common, of course, is that they were solid – the pattern and its negative space were rendered on the same material.

The Valentino Crystal Zebra Slingback, on the other hand, wants to use your foot as the design’s negative space. I suspect that this shoe might be one of those ideas that sounds brilliant in theory, but doesn’t actually work in practice.

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