Stella McCartney Shoes

Images via Women’s Wear Daily

I can’t help it, I’m always a little suspicious of Stella McCartney‘s shoes. I wore far too much pleather footwear as a teenager not to be a little worried about what McCartney’s leather-free designs would do to my feet. The scars, I can still see them.

But if ever I were to break down and give it a shot, Stella McCartney Resort 2012 would be the collection to make me do it. I can’t resist the conical colored perspex heels on the red and pink sandals in particular, and the yellow low-heeled pumps would be a perfect alternative to flats with a pair of slim trousers. See? I’ve started planning outfits already. More photos after the jump.

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Over years of shoe-lusting, I’ve come to the conclusion that one of two things must be true: Either the backs of my ankles are far more sensitive than most, or I’m just a giant wuss. I think it’s the former instead of the latter; I’ve had various nasty sports injuries over the years and always took the pain like a champ, but a pair of shoes rubbing the backs of my ankles will make me whimper like a child.

Because of my particular sensitivity, I’ve gotten good at deciphering visual cues to figure out which shoes might leave me covered in Band-Aids, and unfortunately for the Stella McCartney Patent Pumps, extra-high leather at the heel is chief among the indicators. I’d guess that even trying on these shoes would make me unhappy.

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While many shoe designers this season have veered toward the fantastic, perhaps in response to Fall 2010′s new minimalism, the shoes from Stella McCartney Spring 2011 evoke another adjective entirely: wearable. Eschewing stilettos and all colors except brown, tan and yellow, McCartney presented a collection of minimal, simple sandals to wear all summer.

These shoes are perhaps not the most aesthetically challenging or inventive of Paris Fashion Week, but as always, the line fills a niche: attractive, high-end shoes that are made without the use of animal products. They may not inspire the average luxury customer to whip out her credit card, but the collection will surely appeal to its target audience and anyone who wants a casual, useful summer shoe.

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Uggs are not cute. Despite my unashamed ownership of three pairs (and the likely purchase of a fourth pair to replace my worn-out grey Classic Shorts), I can admit the truth. The nice thing about Uggs, however, is that they’re relatively inexpensive and, in their smaller iterations, fairly unobtrusive. It would be cruel, and possibly a little too judge-y, to begrudge me a regular pair of Uggs for wintertime grocery runs.

For some reason, however, Stella McCartney saw fit to strip Uggs of their only redeeming characteristics and create the Stella McCartney Shearling-Lined Thigh Boots. They’ll run you over half a grand, and for that price they’ll make sure that all of your friends know that you thought expensive, thigh-high, non-Ugg Uggs were deserving of part of your paycheck.

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Certainly not me, that’s for darn sure.

I’m blessed and/or cursed with the muscular legs which many girls develop by play soccer for most of their young lives, which is great for almost everything except wearing boots. The more leg the boot is supposed to cover, the less likely it is that I’m going to have a positive try-on experience, let alone a purchase with which to go home. Thigh-high boots are clearly not the trend for me, but there has to be someone out there who can rock these, right? Well, maybe not.

According to my favorite sales associate at Jeffrey in Atlanta, plenty of women want to try on the faux-leather version of the Stella McCartney Thigh-High Satin Boots with nary a one able to get them fully extended. Some of those problems result from the inability to navigate the foot through the narrow part of the ankle opening, others are based on legs that are just too big overall. Either way, he’s yet to see a woman successfully don these boots.

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