You know how sometimes, when you smell something horrible, your first impulse is to make whoever is closest to you smell it as well? That was similar to the compulsion that I had when I first laid eyes on the Stella McCartney Perforated PVC Lucite Flatform Sandals – they’re so odious that I simply couldn’t keep them to myself, I had to force them on you as well. Apologies for that. (Or, as the kids are saying these day, “Sorry, I’m not sorry.”)
I’m not even sure how to characterize these things. They’re part rubber shower shoe, part slip-on sneaker, part orthopedic, part futuristic. Combining those disparate ideas into a single, successful shoe design is perhaps an admirable goal (or maybe it’s not, because why would anyone want or need that?), but it’s sadly one at which McCartney failed. Sure, what you see before you is a shoe, by the loosest definitions of the term, but it’s certainly not successful.
Beyond street style “stars” who choose things simply based on weirdness and people compelled to wear these shoes out of some sort of personal debt to Stella, I’m not sure who would wear these things. Unless, of course, one of you would. If you can take the heat, let us know in the comments and pick up a pair for $1,095 via Stella McCartney.