It’s all fine and good to spend the day dreaming over stilettos with backbreaking heels and platforms as tall as my pinkie finger, but when it comes down to what shoes a woman will put on every morning to start the day, the vast majority aren’t reaching for a footwear fantasy.

That doesn’t mean that women who need wearable, walkable daytime shoes don’t want something attractive and luxurious – just the opposite. One of the most difficult, if not the most difficult, task in shoemaking is trying to make fashion and function intersect in the same shoe, and many designers abandoned the pursuit long ago. If you still want a cute boot that allows you to walk around the mall for hours once the weather turns cold, may I suggest the Chie Mihara Amanecer Shearling Boots.

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It’s still in the 90s in Atlanta, but I hear that some places out there actually start to get cooler in August – is that so? If it is, that’s really not fair. It’s still sweltering down here.

We’ll have to make the summer-fall transition eventually, though, it’ll just be in six weeks. For those of you getting ready for changing temperatures right now, I’ve got some footwear suggestions. Namely, the Miu Miu Forma Cutout Sandals. Don’t let the word “sandal” fool you – these shoes have so much material that they fall nicely in between “sandal” and “bootie,” which makes them the perfect option for this time of year.

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There are so many things that Lanvin managed to get right with the Lanvin Python and Mongolian Fur Pumps that it’s difficult for me to say that the shoe as a whole doesn’t work, but those are the facts of the situation. The design was humming along quite nicely on the right path, but then it hit a furry, frizzy wall from which I’m afraid it will not recover.

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When we first took a look at 3.1 Phillip Lim’s simple, modern take on the traditional Mary Jane, I wondered if the brand would continue to impress me with its footwear or if that particular shoe was just a singular flash of brilliance. Well, I should have known – just like Lim’s party dresses continue to intrigue and delight, his shoes show no sign of future disappointment.

The 3.1 Phillip Lim Dee Dee Ankle Bootie is similar to the oh-so-successful Mary Jane in one very important way: it takes a simple shoe that most women have in their closets and adds just enough detail to make it interesting without compromising the essential wearability and versatility of something like a black suede bootie.

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I remember these boots.

They may have been a different brand – I’m not sure, nor do I care. It’s not relevant. Back in the mid-2000s, when the recession hadn’t hit and Paris Hilton was kind of relevant and anyone would wear anything with a designer logo on it, these fuzzy moon boot things were popular. Then the economy collapsed and we realized that people who wear stuff like this look like morons, and everyone stopped for a while.

Well, apparently someone is trying to convince us that the Mou Goatskin Cowboy Boots are a good idea again. They’re not. Unequivocally. These boots have been lurking in the background for years, and that’s where they need to stay.

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If you’ve shopped for evening shoes lately, you probably noticed that they can get a tad pricey very quickly. Paradoxically, not only are strappy, delicate evening shoes usually made of less overall material than regular pumps or boots, but the materials are usually less expensive – even fine silk doesn’t cost nearly as much as the kinds of lambskin that most high-end brands use.

Labels seem to get opportunistic with pricing in hopes that women will view the shoes as a one-time splurge and be willing to stretch their budgets, but unless the shoes are beaded by hand or otherwise finely crafted, high prices are rarely merited. Luckily, there are shoe designers out there making things like the Diane Von Furstenberg Grant Slingbacks. At less than $300, these shoes could serve a multitude of evening functions and go with everything from tights and a tunic to a much dressier cocktail frock.

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Giuseppe Zanotti swears that the Giuseppe Zanotti Wedge Pumps only have an six-inch heel, and I just don’t see how that’s possible unless they’re playing a very sneaky optical illusion on me. The wedge looks so tall, in fact, that I could think of only one person when I saw them: Rachel Zoe.

Fans of her Bravo show will know exactly what I’m talking about – Rachel claims to not own flats, and the taller the heels, the more she likes them. The really tall ones are referred to as her “tranny shoes,” and sometimes her “major tranny shoes,” although I’m not sure at exactly what heel height that distinction is made. If I had to bet, though, I’d say that these are definitely “major.”

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When someone mentions Valentino shoes and accessories, a very specific picture comes to mind. It usually includes flowers or ruffles or sometimes both, and the heels are always reasonable and the bags always functional. The brand may not appeal to everyone’s sense of style, but its pieces are reliably feminine in a very traditional way that works in many wardrobes.

What doesn’t come to mind when I think of Valentino is the Valentino Pleated Low Boots. Extra-high stiletto heels, platforms, bright red leather with pleating that’s sexy instead of frilly…I never would have looked at these shoes and accurately guessed the designer. It’s a whole new world out there for the Valentino woman, and things have gotten a good bit racier.

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TalkShoes detectives, I need your help. A reader sent in this photo asking if we could identify the utterly blingtastic shoes contained therein. Megs and I are both having brain farts, but perhaps one of you out there will be able to help your fellow reader out.

I seem to remember reading something recently about an ultra high-end (possibly Middle Eastern) shoe manufacturer opening its first outpost in the States (Vegas maybe?), and the company’s speciality is shoes with lots of intricate crystal work like these. Sadly, I can’t remember where I read about that brand and even if I could, I’m not sure if these shoes would be from them.

The only mainstream designer I can think of that makes shoes like this is Giuseppe Zanotti, but unless these are very limited edition, I can’t find any evidence of Zanotti producing them, but yet the workmanship and detail appears to be very high-end. They’re so sparkly and glamourous that I can’t help wonder who made them – do any of you have the answer? I’d love to see some of the brand’s other work.

I am about to admit something embarrassing to you guys, so I need you to be sensitive and not laugh at me for a second.

I own a camouflage shirt.

Not a camouflage shirt for which I paid money, mind you – this one came from deep within the bowels of an ex-boyfriend’s closet. It was the trophy t-shirt from that (long since ended) relationship, and I still wear it as pajamas. Any emotional attachment that it once had has long since left, but the shirt is just so perfectly soft and oversized that I can’t bring myself to get rid of it in favor of something less ugly. And trust me, it’s ugly.

Perhaps my positive associations with my shirt are influencing me, but I also just can’t bring myself to hate the Prada Camo Platform Pumps.

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