The ankle-snapping, vertigo-inducing Christian Louboutin superplatforms are back for yet another season of high-flying adventures, and with that brings a whole host of Louboutin’s signature kooky embellishments. Once one of his shoes has done a couple of tours of duty as a regular pump and the public still wants more, Louboutin generally uses his magic to spin the basic shape into increasingly ridiculous (and we mean that in a loving way) versions of its former self, sometimes ad infinitum.

Thus, we bring you the Christian Louboutin Lady Daf Tartan Mary Janes, which are the kind of shoe that likely only the Kardashians will have an occasion to wear. (Maybe Scott and Kourtney will get married and have a Scottish-themed wedding, if only because it goes nicely with his name? Who knows.) They sure are fun to contemplate, though.

I can see the wedding now. Scott in the dandiest kilt you’ve ever seen, bridesmaids in kilt-styled miniskirts with these giant heels. E! would make a fortune off broadcasting that. Hell, I’d even watch it, if only to see how serious people got with the theme. Would Scott be wearing a tartan ascot to match the gravity-defying Louboutins? (That’s a trick question, Scott is always wearing an ascot.) Other than that, I can think of no situations in which these heels might be worn, but they make me smile anyway. Buy through Neiman Marcus for $1075.