While shoe shopping with a friend this weekend (she got these, they are major), the subject of what we’re going to do now that it’s sandal season came up. Living in New York, have a couple trusty pairs of flat sandals for spring and summer is non-negotiable; it’s hot outside, you’re walking everywhere, but you need a little more coverage than your average pair of flip flops because New York City streets are inarguably disgusting.

Both my friend and I are no stranger to paying through the nose for excellent shoes, but neither of us expressed any willingness to cough up more than $250 for that kind of workhorse summer staple; there’s just not enough structure and “design” that goes into attaching a few strips of leather to a flat base, particularly when you compare it to what goes in to making the perfect platform. And then there’s the Balmain Helene Sandal, which costs $1450 for reason I cannot explain.

Balmain and stunt pricing are practically synonymous, but a stack and a half for this sandal caught even me by surprise. It’s a glorified flip flop with a couple big pieces of hardware, which means that you’re paying approximately 78% of this price tag just so that you can tell people your sandals are Balmain when they ask. That’s a lot of dollars, my friends. That’s, like, Louboutin money. Buy through Barneys for $1450.