How convenient that I was talking about Versace’s shoes and their tendency to look like the footgear preferred by, err, pole technicians just yesterday. The Versace Studded Suede and Mesh Platforms landed at Net-a-Porter shortly thereafter, and they are exactly what I was talking about. The universe couldn’t have provided me with a better example.

We all knew these shoes were coming because they featured prominently in Versace’s Spring 2012 runway show, but here they are, in all their glory and ready to be dissected. And in a way, I really like them. They’re bold, they pick an aesthetic and they embrace it without hesitation, they’re certainly creative. If you actually want a pair of shoes you can wear, check out the Versus shoes I posted yesterday. Not only are they at a decent price point, but you may actually wear them outside of the house once or twice.

These shoes, on the other hand, are really only appropriate one place (besides on the main stage, of course): at some uber-pretentious Miami pool party at which I’d definitely be the person having the least fun. That’s ok, though, because part of loving fashion is being able to pull yourself out of the confines of your own personal taste and appreciate things that you wouldn’t necessarily be moved to purchase yourself. These shoes are one such item, and if you do buy them, beware. With a heel that tops out at seven inches, you may want to do some ankle exercises before you attempt to leave the house with these shoes on your feet. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $1895.