Chloe Leather and Suede Sneaker Wedges, $395 via Net-a-Porter

As I may have mentioned, oh, a couple of times, I’m not much of a fan of the wedge sneaker. Isabel Marant’s version is undoubtedly the best, and if you want to get this look, you should totally stick with hers – they’re more expensive, yes, but they’re not utterly outrageous or anything. The See by Chloe Leather and Suede Sneaker Wedges don’t hold up very well in comparison.

The first problem is that this shoe looks like some sort of sneaker-hiking boot hybrid, and if you’re going to go with a bold look, don’t go with one that’s also indeterminate. Or maybe these are, like, bowling shoe wedges? Remember when bowling shoes had a moment? Anyway, the upshot is that the fact that I’m even asking these questions is problematic. If something is well-designed, you should be able to look at it and intuitively understand what it’s trying to accomplish.

My second problem is with the choice of colors. I have a long-standing opposition to brown, and this type of design is why. The combination of the medium brown leather and the light brown suede is very 70s, and not in a chic neo-disco sort of way. Instead, it’s sort of a “pictures of your parents that embarrass you vicariously” way. Not good, ladies. Not good. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $395.