Christian Louboutin Highness Platform Pumps, $1075 via Bergdorf Goodman

If you ever doubted the devotion of Christian Louboutin’s horde of fangirls, the success of his Daffodil platforms, at over six inches tall, should have been enough to erase that doubt. I’ve tried on a pair, and I genuinely don’t know how anyone does anything but stand perfectly still while wearing them. And yet, nearly every version of that shoe has sold out in short order; people can’t get enough of them.

With that in mind, it only makes sense that the line would expand to include other designs with the same perilously tall 2.4-inch platform. That’s where the Christian Louboutin Highness Pumps come in; is it just me, or does that peep toe look laughably small compared to the giant chunk of shoe below it?

My ankle is already sore today, and just looking at these shoes makes it feel worse. For a moment, I actually thought these shoes had a platform taller than the original Daffodils, which is probably a visual trick of the regular-sized peep toe; in reality, they’re the same. With a total height of over six inches and a beige patent color, I bet that these shoes look like you have legs for days. If you can stay upright for long enough that people will notice, anyway. Buy through Bergdorf Goodman for $1075.

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