Christian Louboutin Morphing Pumps, $995 via Net-a-Porter

Normally, a pair of leopard haircalf Christian Louboutin pumps is a quick way to earn entrance into my heart. In fact, had you simply said those words to me, I would likely have told you that there would be no shoe fitting that descriptor that I would want to own. And yet, here are the Christian Louboutin Morphing Pumps, which fly in the face of everything I know to be good and holy.

Although heel-wedge hybrids usually aren’t my favorite shoes, I don’t have any broad problem with the idea. We’ve probably all seen it done both well and poorly, and unfortunately, this pump is not one of the better iterations. Not only is the heel not high enough to pull off the drama necessary to make this shoe sexy, but the shape of the almost-wedge looks kind of bulbous and awkward. I must say, though, that’s it’s refreshing to find a pair of Louboutins that don’t tempt my bank account even a little bit. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $995.