I think I might watch too many police shows. Criminal Minds, Law & Order: SVU (and ONLY SVU), NCIS – if it involves a dead body and a dedicated group of investigators, I will probably watch it. Not only that, but I’ll watch marathons of it, even if I’ve already seen all of the episodes. There’s no better way to bring my productivity to a screeching halt than to point me in the direction of six or so episodes of Shemar Moore kicking down serial killers’ doors.

Because forensics usually play a large part in these shows, I couldn’t help but think of them when I saw the Lanvin Horseshoe Heel Patent Pumps. Never, ever wear this pair of shoes to stab anyone – one very unique bloody shoe print and you’ll be headed straight to Riker’s. On the other hand, they’d be perfectly appropriate for…well, nothing. These are the kinds of shoe that are appropriate for nothing but fun for everything.

The horse-shaped heel is likely a detail that only you will notice, but the gold-line interior is a cute detail nonetheless. What everyone else will see, on the other hand, is bright pink patent against an ultramodern wood-panelled platform for a vibe that’s a little more Jil Sander than Alber Elbaz. This look will probably prove too odd for some, but I’d rather have a pair of shoes that’s interesting than a pair that’s merely pretty any day of the week. And if you’re going to stab someone, wear a pair of Tributes – the police will have far too many possibilities to suspect that it was you all along. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $1075.