Don’t get me wrong – Giuseppe Zanotti loves his rhinestones and I love him for it. He has a clear point of view, he does things that many other designers in the business wouldn’t think to do, and he makes some seriously covetable sparkly footwear in the process. But. None of that excuses the Giuseppe Zanotti Dollar Sign Suede Sandal.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot, y’all. At first, I didn’t even realize from BlueFly’s thumnail that the giant wad of crystals on the front of this shoe was supposed to be a dollar sign, but when I scrolled by more slowly, the aim of the design became apparent. It’s like giant hip-hop bling, except for your feet. 2007 has come back again to remind us just how tacky it was the first time around.

And oh my God, was it tacky. In a way, this shoe would be kind of hilarious if you were going to a pimps-and-hoes party. It would fit the theme perfectly! You could be a pimpette with a giant feather in your hat and dollar signs on your shoes! But even then, it would only be funny if it were cheap, and it’s not. Not even close. Buy through BlueFly for $597.