When someone says the phrase “$800 designer sandals,” a pair of seductive, strappy stilettos probably comes to mind, or at least a towering pair of wedges, maybe with some scarf-y ties to wrap up your leg. “Designer” has a way of implying to people that a shoe will be aggressively sexy and probably hard to walk in, but when it comes to the Marni Metallic Leather Sandals, that assumption couldn’t be any further from the truth. They’re birth control in shoe form, and I love them.
Straight men have thoughts about shoes, specifically about which ones ladies should wear in order to be attractive, and although I’m not a big believer in paying those thoughts any attention, I already know what they’d say about these sandals. With their wide, molded footbed and Velcro (yes, fellas, Velcro) strap closure, these shoes are like the lovechild of a Birkenstock and a Teva; when you factor in the price point, they’re probably enough to make most dudes tremble in fear of both your spending habits and your ambivalence toward their aesthetic preferences.
That’s not why I love these sandals, exactly, but it does play a role. I have a solid contrarian streak, particularly when it comes to others telling me how I should and should not present myself, and when you factor that in with my ardent love of silver shoes and my preferences for thick-strapped flat sandals, it’s as if these shoes were made for me. If the trim were black instead of brown, they’d be perfect. I mean that. Buy through Net-a-Porter for $800.