Really, the question in the title of this post is rhetorical, or at the very least, moot. I already know the answer to it, and there will be absolutely no discussion. Very little in fashion criticism is so objective that it can’t even be discussed in good faith, but there’s no way anyone thinks the shoes that Giorgio Armani sent down his Spring 2014 runway are anything other than the absolute worst of the season. Nothing so catastrophic will happen in the rest of the Paris shows that with dethrone them, I guarantee you.
Cowboy boots are a difficult theme on which to base a shoe in the first place – almost all riffs on the style look cartoonish unless the person designing them is Isabel Marant. Even Miuccia Prada tried and failed to make the neo-cowboy boot a thing, and her rose-embellished versions from Miu Miu are still languishing on designer outlet sites, all these seasons later. No one wants this stuff! Someone didn’t tell Armani that, though, because not only did he make quasi-cowboy boots, but he made them half-flip-flop, part mesh and, at times, part fishnet. Don’t even get me started about the color choices. Mercifully, most of the versions had low, chunky heels, but every once in a while, a high heeled version came down the runway, as if to remind the viewer that, oh yes, it can get worse. It can always get worse.
You really have to see these shoes to believe them. I’m sorry to do this to you on a lovely Friday, but you can check them out below.
[Images via Vogue.com]