I remember these boots.

They may have been a different brand – I’m not sure, nor do I care. It’s not relevant. Back in the mid-2000s, when the recession hadn’t hit and Paris Hilton was kind of relevant and anyone would wear anything with a designer logo on it, these fuzzy moon boot things were popular. Then the economy collapsed and we realized that people who wear stuff like this look like morons, and everyone stopped for a while.

Well, apparently someone is trying to convince us that the Mou Goatskin Cowboy Boots are a good idea again. They’re not. Unequivocally. These boots have been lurking in the background for years, and that’s where they need to stay.

When I first saw that these boots had been picked up by Net-a-Porter, I didn’t think much of it. Sure, the name was kind of repugnant (in no way, shape or form do these even remotely resemble cowboy boots) and the design was beyond ugly, but one online retailer picking up one ugly shoe doesn’t mean a great deal by itself. At least they were black.

But then I saw Saks carrying the white version, and suddenly the situation needed to be addressed. If you want to get in on fall’s furry shoe trend, there are chic ways to do it (may I suggest these awesome Givenchy ankle boots?). As for these wannabe-Uggs, they’re badly in need of a buzz cut. Someone get me the clippers.

Buy through Net-a-Porter for $415 in black. Saks has both black and white for $295. The boots appear to be the same or very similar at both places, I’m not sure what accounts for the price discrepancy.